Impasse

I am restless, wanting to run off from the room
when those uneasy thoughts do not spare me

A clouded view of the future
gory glimpses of the past
a sleepy lonely present I walk through

I am asked to survey the frontiers and limits of mine
But I am no where interested
to see myself incapable

Nothing interests me
When the book of equations are rendered invisible
by the looming shadows of instability and uncertainty

The rise and fall of my spirit
the spurts of joy and anger
the (evil) consequences of my words told in absolute insensitivity
the divulging of the truths of life
and later the regret for these unthoughtful words and deeds

Often I am left with the dreams about the pictures of the green country
when I take the train back home
the thoughts of the warmth of my mother's lap
and the dear ones

But the sudden realization of the clutches of bondage
and precepts of responsibility
takes back the joy of them

But amidst all these
adding an ice cool and crystal pure feeling to my psyche
memories of my lost purity
which gives me a momentary spell of happiness

a rope to climb out of this dilemma
a drop of water to fan the fire out deep inside